This is the third toe I busted, mere moments after I busted it. 

Also notice the 2nd from the big toe, it's a hammer toe.

I'm so glad we could share.

1.  Say what you want about fly fishing, nothing really brings a father and son together like dumping a dead whore down a well.

2.  Sometimes the voices in my head tell me to do bad things.  Other times they just tell me, "man theses fries would be good with ketchup".

3.  Of all the things I've yet to do in life, I think the most satisfying will be skinning a mime with a potato peeler.

4. What does a brussel sprout grow into?

5.  If I were king for a do is have some hot wings, 'cause man I love hot wings.

6.  No matter what he tells you, a clown with a basement is not your friend.

7.  For those of you who think dogs are better than cats, let's see you try to get a pit bull to crap in a box.

The following "article" was written by me and published under a pseudonym in a Tech Parody newspaper and online site.  Probably the funniest thing is that some people thought the two of us were fighting when in reality I wrote this for them.  Please also keep in mind that "you only hurt the ones you love".  Tech rocks, but we did take a U.T. ass kicking in '04 (and now in 05)

Tech whipped like a piss-happy puppy!

In an “upset” that was shocking only to those who’ve never seen Tech fold like a Chinese Laundry before, the U.T. Longhorns beat the Red-in-the-face Raiders this past Saturday.  The final score was a shit-load to a little bit.  The beating was so bad that Tech received letters of condolence from inmates of the Abu Ghraib prison.  The inmates stated in no uncertain terms that they’d rather do the naked pyramid ten times over than even watch Tech’s second half performance again.  Tech players who had predicted a Red Raiders victory are now so worried about their status at the University that they’ve actually been seen attending class.  When asked for his comments on the game Coach Leach faked being asleep.  When the reporters saw him peek out of one eye, Leach pretended to snore.  The reporters waited around for the Coach to “wake up”; when it became apparent that Leach was not going to stop the ruse, the reporters went through his pockets.  They found a half pack of lifesavers and the number of what appeared to be some type of crisis line.

 Texas Tech takes on last years conference champions Kansas State this week.  Tech cheerleaders have been practicing a new cheer for the event.  The mantra is "oh, oh shit..oh, oh shit".